He loves, he loves me not
I want to be the kid in this relationship. I love my Dad more than he cares to realize. He refuses to talk to me because I finally threw all the hurt I received over the years back at him. He threw my Valentine’s Day gift back in my face. I am not surprised because in the most recent years I consistently have to beg him to spend time with me. I don’t think he will ever realize I want him to be happy whoever he is married to whether it is my Mom or not. If they reconcile great, if they don’t, then it wasn’t mean to be. But I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE 7 STEP-MOMS in my life. That’s why his gift was a book about marriage being for always. I personally will fight tooth and nail to keep my marital relationship strong some day when my true prince comes. I wish Dad could be the parent, the adult, the bigger person and pick up the phone and call me instead of bark orders from his ivory tower of telecommunications: text, email, skype, etcetera. I am sick of being the adult in this daddy-daughter relationship. If he wants to date Z of NBC univision in public, that is his life. Life is messy. He even picked a woman like him – public figure that is divorcing but not divorced yet. Still he often tries to avoid the simple fact is that he is a public figure with extraordinary popularity in the city of Chicago – the city that passes many judgments yet loves you as long as you win or have money. I hope that he realizes he is not perfect nor am I. More importantly, I wish he sees that he needs to act like the adult in the public and behind closed doors. Until then, I’m going to follow his lead and mirror his behavior by acting like a selfish, child which is not my character. Dad usually acts like this in the aftermath of not winning all the world series rings he promised to his second father, his boss Mr. Reinsdorf. I wish he would stick to his promise of loving me unconditionally. In the same breath, I will also stick to my true integrity and character by holding true to my word by never, ever permitting him to walk me down the aisle one day unless he can find it in his heart to put aside his pride, to forgive, and to heal our relationship with true unconditional love. In my humble opinion, he has passed the buck too many times. The honor of walking me down the matrimonial aisle will now go to both my Mom and brother Dedrick. Marriage is for always if you find your true love.