Protecting the People You L<3VE

When does it end? The love supposedly will never end but when will the memories of the pain leave my rearview mirror. I think I keep hoping it will happen just like the Disney princesses taught me that, “Some day my prince will come…” Until then, I have father figures to contend with…

The day I had to truly walk away from my biological father was the day he said, “You’re a bitch just like your Mom.” When did he say this? More importantly, does it matter? How about the day my Dad told me he didn’t have time or love for me anymore? These are supposed to be the men who love me unconditionally? But the one I love the most is gone. He passed away on January 3, 2010 and it hurt like someone ripped my heart out and tore it into tiny pieces. Still Papa said, “Chevon, I just want you to be happy” after he finally found out I called off my marriage engagement. I miss HIM so much… Now he knew true unconditional love…mwuah i miss ya Papa (R.I.P.)

As time passes, the pain decreases and memories begin to fade but I always feel his (x3) love. Now I’m left with an absent father and a coach of a father who treats me like his employee. Coach barks his order from his ivory tower and he is comforted by many people who gas his head up because they know it will benefit them. Me? I tell it like is and sometimes it hurts us all but I ALWAYS prefer the truth over lies (/family secrets). The time has come to own up to the wrongs…I know mine were done with the intention of righting wrongs but, with all the sadness I’m trying hard not to suppress, I’m just sick of all the tears. So, with much disappointment in many of the VIP Men of my life I will not lay down for abuse but I will sit down to rest. It is my turn to be happy and selfish just like I was taught by my father figures, ex-lovers, and most especially my haters. I am now protecting myself because this is who I must L<3VE the MOST!


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