My life is changing. I accept this fact because long ago I read the quote: “Change is the only constant.” So as I become a better woman, daughter, sister, cousin, and friend I hope that people will accept that I am who I am and that I will forever change. Oftentimes, I wonder, “what do people think and assume when they first find out I have a tattoo?” Or, “What do they really want to say when they see my tattoo?” My tattoo is a godsend because it is a coping mechanism to help me through the pains I have encountered in my life. However, my first tattoo was not about pain it was about love and solidarity with all my female cousins. Every time I sat in the tattoo chair thereafter was me dealing with pain.
My first tattoo is the tribal Taurus sign. My female cousins and I planned a get together. But first, we wanted to meet at the tattoo parlor and each get a tattoo. For some of us it was our first tattoo for others it was not. The sleep over was a fun reminder of the days of our youth. It was definitely an exciting and fun experience getting my first tattoo especially because I was with family.
The second tattoo sitting is my partial rosary which transforms into a purple heart. I was working in corporate America and my boss called to curse me out without using curse words. This was on Valentine’s Day. The following day he called apologizing saying that he was going through family stress that even his own wife did not know about it. After the fact, he realized he took out his frustrations on me. I accept that I am a strong person but the tattoo absorbed my pain from the undue stress my former manager placed upon me.
Then, I again visited a tattoo parlor when I was engaged for marriage and planning my wedding. Leilani my angel constantly at my side was created that day. That pain is too fresh to fully revisit for this post.
Most recently, I gave Leilani her flowers. More importantly, I titled the beautiful picture that showcases my pain. At the top of my tattoo the only word seen is “Secret.”