Awesome article…

Escaping old patterns to become a better you!

At the very basic level all people are creators. We are all creating at every moment. Sometimes we are creating positive experiences and sometimes we unfortunately create negative experiences for ourselves and others. We all want something out of life and it is very natural that people want to create, re-create and continue to develop themselves. It is natural and healthy to want to enhance your creative skills and abilities so that you can access your own version of joy and abundance. The problem for many people is that they get stuck in old, negative patterns. Now, I talk a lot about what I call the beautiful path, in which I encourage people to adopt a lifestyle of positive life patterns. The problem that some people run into, is that they are not able to easily escape their old negative patterns because they are habituated to a certain type of thinking. Most healthy people innately want to be their best possible self. Every person wants to advance in life and be surrounded by beauty, prosperity, abundance, and most of all, love. However, many people find that when they attempt to advance themselves, they slip back into their old, negative patterns and behaviors. Why?

There are many reasons why people become “stuck” in their development. One common problem is habitual thought patterns and the self stories that people tell. For example, some people have stories from their past experiences that they tell over and over again when they meet new people. This may be a story about a challenge they faced, or some terrible event that happened to them, or maybe even a repetitive story from their youth, about rebellion, pranks or trouble. Sometimes these stories involve interpersonal drama in the form of social, relationship or family “war stories.” They tell these stories repeatedly without noticing that these stories reinforce a part of their old self (or lower self) that does not represent the person they presently desire to be. So, an important part of becoming your best self is being very careful about your self-talk and self-stories. These stories, though seemingly harmless, represent a form of self-hypnosis. Negative self-talk and negative affirmation can keep you anchored in old thought patterns and identities. My advice for everyone is to carefully analyze the old stories that you choose to perpetually tell, for these are really life-long meditations. If those stories are negative or not supportive of the vision you have for your future self, it would be wise to quit telling those stories completely. Instead, develop new stories from new positive experiences and relationships — the experiences of your emerging new self! Resist at all cost telling your old negative stories.

“Let go of anything you don’t love about your life story and just keep the things you love. If you hold on to negative things from your past, then you keep putting them into your story every time you remember them, and they go back into the pictures of your life — now!”
— Rhonda Byrne
A real problem you may encounter when you are trying to change your life often comes from old friends and family who only know and accept the “older you” and not the person you are striving to become. A lot of people are not really evolving themselves, and some of these people don’t like it when they see someone from their social peer group advancing, and maybe even doing better than them. So, these people will sometimes be quick to point out something negative you may have done in the past, or they may bring up a negative behavior when you “slip-up” while you are working on yourself. Sometimes these people can even encourage the old negative behavior you are trying to eliminate, because they enjoy that part of you, or they may even secretly, or sub-consciously, want to see you fail. You want to avoid all messages that reinforce your old patterns, whether those reinforcements come from yourself, or from others.

The most dangerous negativity comes from ourselves in the form of doubts, fears and unreasonable self-criticisms. Excessive self-criticism is a bad habit and is extraordinarily self-destructive. Don’t be your own worst enemy! Imagine a bully who points out all the things you have done in your past, such as mistakes you’ve made and even future things that you “allegedly” cannot do or accomplish. This type of unreasonable self-criticism represents a form of self-hatred and fear.

So let’s talk about some of the tools you can use to encourage further development of your new, better-self which will help you escape your old, negative life patterns.

Surround yourself with beautiful and positive people, who love you and believe in you and believe in the possibilities that exist for your vision of a more positive life.
Learn to catch yourself and stop immediately when you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk.
Stop telling old stories, or so-called “funny” stories, from your youth, high school, college days, or any other time in your life when you were not living up to your full potential as a positive person.
Become a very cautious consumer. Scrutinize everything you allow into your mind, including conversations, books, television shows, and environmental situations that may reinforce negative life patterns or lower level thinking. The old saying that, “you are what you eat” extends beyond the body, and includes experiences.
Become a cautious consumer about the food that you are allowing into your body. Eat beautiful foods, which are nutritionally dense, wholesome and natural.
Create and maintain a beautiful environment and surroundings in which to live. Keep your area orderly and clean. Allow sunshine and light into your rooms and life! Open windows for fresh air. Try to reduce mechanical and unnatural background noises such as television and commercial radio. Fill your space with beautiful music or nature sounds that are uplifting, exhilarating or inspiring.
Get as much exercise as possible, even if it is just a short walk each day. Even gentle walking is completely transformative for the body and mind. Walking energizes and activates all of the systems of your body from your immune system to your circulatory system and digestive system. Walking awakens the total senses. Always try to walk around nature as much as possible and if you can, stay away from busy roads, construction sites or any other areas where you will encounter unnatural machinery, sounds or scenery.
Spend time socializing with people who accept you, where there is laughter, leisure, and celebration. Anytime we can be around others and have a good time is energetically very good for us. Enjoyable social interaction, community and laughter have a healing effect on the mind and body.
Finally, it is essential that you write down your goals. A goal that is not written is not a goal. It only becomes real when you write it down. Writing has the power of permanence. Look at your list daily and read it out loud. Let your list of goals become a mantra and a meditation.
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Quotes Share
At the very basic level all people are creators. We are all creating at every moment.
An important part of becoming your best self is being very careful about your self-talk and self-stories.
Negative self-talk and negative affirmation can keep you anchored in old thought patterns and identities.
Carefully analyze the old stories that you choose to perpetually tell, for these are really life-long meditations.
Develop new stories from new positive experiences and relationships — the experiences of your emerging new self!
The most dangerous negativity comes from ourselves in the form of doubts, fears and unreasonable self-criticisms.
Excessive self-criticism is a bad habit and is extraordinarily self-destructive. Don’t be your own worst enemy!
Unreasonable self-criticism represents a form of self-hatred and fear.
Surround yourself with beautiful and positive people, who love you and believe in you.
Learn to catch yourself and stop immediately when you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk.
Become a very cautious consumer. Scrutinize everything you allow into your mind and body.
The old saying that, “you are what you eat” extends beyond the body, and includes experiences.
Eat beautiful foods, which are nutritionally dense, wholesome and natural.
Create and maintain a beautiful environment and surroundings in which to live.
Allow sunshine and light into your rooms and life!
Gentle walking is completely transformative for the body and mind.
Walking awakens the total senses.
Enjoyable social interaction, community and laughter have a healing effect on the mind and body.
A goal that is not written is not a goal. It only becomes real when you write it down.
Writing has the power of permanence.
Comments & Discussions

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Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
Are you trying to escape your old patterns? How have you dealt with negative people? Have you ever been too self critical? What are some of you best ideas for changing unhealthy patterns? What lessons, warnings or advice can you share with us from your own experiences? Please share your thoughts.
Kathy Strahan Strom – bryantmcgill.com
Bryant, I love you so much! You never cease to inspire me. All of your suggestions are fantastic! I’ll save this blog and read it every day… until I’m living it 100%. In answer to your questions in your previous post: 1) Yes, I am trying to escape my old patterns and I’m getting better at it. I’m proud of myself for eating mainly nutrient-dense foods even though people and circumstances throw roadblocks in the way. I still need to instill the habit of daily exercise (roadblocks there, too… but determination will find a way to win out). 2) How have I dealt with negative people? I’ve never met a HAPPY nasty person… so I try to remind myself that they must need some extra love and good vibes. Sometimes, though, I let their negativity get to me. I’m working on reminding myself that I need not let anyone bring me down, discourage me, and ruin the quality of this precious moment of my life. I try to “take the high road” by mentally showering them with flowers (that helps me, too)… mentally wishing them well, and moving on with my life the best I can, in alignment with my goals for the kind of person I want to be in this world. Love & peace is the path I want. 3) Have I ever been too self critical? YES! Too often. I like the idea of writing a new story. 4) What are some of my best ideas for changing unhealthy patterns? WRITE my goals, VISUALIZE myself successfully creating and living the life I want, and put that into immediate ACTION. Maintain FOCUS and learn to ignore distractions. Have a daily PLAN and stick to it… then at the end of the day, pat myself on the back as I check off my accomplishments toward my goals. 5) What lessons, warnings or advice can I share? LESSON: One day my younger brother ran out of time. He died. He had lived a life too short, but well-lived. Time can get away from you and suddenly it’s tomorrow… or next week… or next year… and your goals still may not be accomplished. YIKES! Be aware of how you are using your time, and use it productively. WARNING: Wishing is fun, but time will not wait. ADVICE: Live your dreams NOW, and thoroughly ENJOY the journey!
Nicole Johnson – bryantmcgill.com
Fantastic article! Beautiful-beautiful, enlightening message…thank you for sharing. 😉
Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
Thanks so much Nicole! 🙂 I am glad you enjoyed it.
Jenni Creatives – bryantmcgill.com
Awww….I love that I captured this moment of Mira Newman and Ashley Quaine! This is a beautiful blog and such great reminder of why it is important to keep ourselves surrounded by those who lift us up! Sometimes when we need to make some radical changes in our lives it is necessary to let some people go and seek out brighter and more positive people and influences.
Edie Weinstein – bryantmcgill.com
Ahhh….such good guidance on all fronts, Bryant. Is that Mira Newman in the photo? Lovely image.
Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
Thank you Edie. And yes, that is our dear friend Mira in the photo! 🙂
Tammera Work Gordineer – bryantmcgill.com
Thanks for this share I will save this one…it is an awesome reminder.
Ramona Cryer – bryantmcgill.com
Been doing this tapping and noticed that if I do I will notice the good things in the day and not focus so much on the negative thing…. I tried to teach my son this today….Tap on your Four head and say ” Even though I left school without telling anyone and walked home in my runners in the snow….I know things will still work out for me today ” What? Somethings wrong here! lol
James Vincent Knowles – bryantmcgill.com
Excellent. Thank you for writing & sharing this ~ It’s difficult & painful sometimes, being isolated & alone as I’ve been for over a year. But at least that’s given me time for study, writing, creating & for letting go of old, unhealthy relationships & others who didn’t get just how necessary it was for me. I look forward to a time soon when I’ll be able to go home & make new connections. I’m almost up to zero from a tremendously negative minus a million. haha… Now the next difficult part, quietly continuing.
Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
“Almost up to zero…” Hey there have been many times when I never knew zero could look and feel so good. I like your comment about the time for letting go and learning. I really understand that. But like you wrote, or as I read it, isolation and being alone is not something that can go on forever. Ultimately, I feel like we all ebb and flow, in an out of the social waters. Sometimes those waters are dangerous and rough, and sometimes they are warm, clear and inviting. No matter what, having good people around you is SO important– especially when that person is you! 😉
James Vincent Knowles – bryantmcgill.com
Yes, true, true. And I do have tremendous respect & desire for that connection. Vital. As is trust in those connections. I need them. I’m lucky to be alive & grateful for that. It’s very difficult doing anything like this alone but I’m allowing for the positive possibilities & praying for help. Thanks again~!
Jeanine M. DuBois – bryantmcgill.com
there is a time limit to the complaining. Then break out in song.
Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
LOL. Sure, that might work. 😉
Brenda McBryde – bryantmcgill.com
I am a believer….
Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
Thanks Brenda. I love your about! “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% attitude, therefore I choose to let go of yesterday, live today to the fullest, love deeply,and if given the chance I will do it even better tomorrow.. Be Happy, live happy, for happiness is our choice!”
Brenda McBryde – bryantmcgill.com
I believe happiness is a choice we make…. Sometimes this means, for me, to dismiss the negative, detach and find a sense of humor in what is going on… find a blessing…. make someone smile… and find some positive daily input, which is why I love your posts!!!
Bryant McGill – bryantmcgill.com
Thanks! I totally agree. The power of choice is profound, yet so simple. Life can be so hard if you do not understand perspective and gratitude. I like your ideas too. 🙂
Jenni Young – bryantmcgill.com
Wow…awesome words of advice Brenda…thank you for sharing! Love your words on your About page 🙂

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Bryant H. McGill

“I live in Southern California with my life partner Jenni, and I have three amazing daughters. I am a simple person, who as a boy, ran around barefoot on a dirt-road in Alabama — dreaming of being a writer. I am probably best known as a writer of pithy sayings and small, simple aphorisms which have found their way into tens-of-thousands of publications, including by some of the biggest publishers in the world. I love to inspire people and show them their inner-beauty. I see the world spiritually. My mission is to cause people to consider kinder ways in which we could do business, structure our relationships and treat the world.” Bio

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